Who's Gonna Drive You Home?

I would like to introduce you all to my new car, which does not actually have a name yet (we're waiting to get to know her first.) She is number 5 in the line of cars we have had, following such greats as Betty, Nellie, Bermudis, and the unnamed 1994 Mazda MPV that we were fortunate enough to inherit after I was in an accident that totaled Bermudis last November. (RIP Bermudis, we won't forget you.)

So here she is, a 2005 Dodge Grand Caravan, and she is every bit as classy as any SUV, plus she gets better gas mileage. The Mazda we have been driving is well-worn (to put it mildly) and, being a '94, lacks pretty much all of the creature comforts to which most of us have become accustomed. We have a tape deck (thank you D.I. for supplying us with antiquated tapes to listen to!), and the air conditioner blows air that is slightly less warm than outside. The heater doesn't work (last winter was COLD) and the padding is coming out of the seats. (However I would like to state that the Mazda was a life-saver, gifted to us by my friend Roseanne and her husband Dennis, at a time when we had no car and no money to get one. All of those creature comforts are nice but really not necessary.)

Ok, so back to the new car. She has a CD player, very comfy seats, cold AC, and the very best thing - stow-and-go seating. To those of you without a family of six, this may not seem like such a big deal, but after you spend a few road trips with bags under people's legs and between them on the seats and piled so high in the back that you can't see out of the back window, and then having to remove half of said bags every time a kid has to go to the bathroom, you learn to appreciate the small things. (Even the great Bermudis didn't have more than a six-inch gap behind her back seat. It was like playing Tetris every time we packed the car for a road-trip.) We welcome the new car to our family, and if we pass you on the road sometime, make sure you say hello!

Day Tripper

A couple of weeks ago, Jon and I had to make the trek to Stanford for Jon to see the Marfan specialist there, and since we rarely get that far away without the kids (we try to leave in the middle of the night, but man are they light sleepers!) we thought that we would drive home via San Fran. Jon had never been to Chinatown, so that was our destination. We quickly found that there is basically nothing to see in Chinatown, but we took some pictures along the

way.

This is what we'd look like if we were models and we were way too cool to talk to you. Yeah, you know you're jealous.

AAARRRGGGHHH!!!

No, that's not Captain Jack Sparrow, its our very own Anna Marie Joyner. We recently attended a production of the musical "Pirates from Grammar Island" (look for it on Broadway soon people) where Anna made her stage debut in the leading role of Captain Comma. The show premiered in the Penryn Elementary School all-purpose room with the actors playing to a crowd of more than 50 proud parents, grandparents, and siblings. We are very proud of her and have already been in touch with several agents concerning her next career move.

She can see! She can see!

We got the phone call from the school nurse a short while back that Hailey had completely bombed the vision test they do at school. We had noticed that she was sitting closer to the t.v. and you couldn't see her face anymore when she was reading because the book was smooshed up against her nose, so the phone call really wasn't a surprise. So now Hailey has a stylish new pair of glasses which make her more like her sister Anna, something that she likes very much.

A Walk to Remember

On a Sunday afternoon not too long ago, Jon and I took the kids for a walk up at Griffith Quarry, conveniently located at the top of the hill from our house. For those of you who don't know (and trust me, the list would be shorter of those who do) Griffith Quarry was established by Griffith Griffith (the man so nice they named him twice?) and was open for years as a granite quarry. Now it is a 23-acre park with walking trails and huge slabs of granite protruding from the earth. There is your history lesson for the day.

So anyway...we took the camera because as it turns out we don't really take that many pictures of our kids and you've gotta have pictures if you're going to blog. Our kids are, shall we say, unpredictable, and so it is also good to have a camera just because you never know what you're going to get.

Girls: "Cheeese" Adam: "Jeeesus" Me: "What did you say Adam?" Adam: (said with the attitude of don't you know anything) "You know Mom, he made the animals?"

The kids took turns leading and deciding which trails to take and we just went along with it. We managed to come home with all four children and no poison oak which is an accomplishment, trust me. All in all it was a good time.

A boy and his fuzzy

Jonathan doesn't use a pacifier or suck his thumb like a lot of babies do. This does not mean that he is without his vices, though. Jonathan is addicted to the fuzzy. He may tell you that he doesn't have a problem, and that he can quit anytime he wants, but don't let him sucker you with that sweet smile - he has a dependency issue.

Admittedly, Jonathan does have a solid group of enablers who keep him supplied with fresh fuzzy goodness, so he can't be held totally at fault. He started out with just one fuzzy, but that soon turned into two, then four, and now he is up to five fuzzies. We try to keep the accessibility down to one fuzzy at a time, but Jonathan is very resourceful and has been known to have a three-fuzzy-a-day habit.

At some point, we are going to have to stage an intervention, and we sincerely hope to have the support of our friends and loved ones when we go through what is sure to be that very difficult time.

Our Kids

I thought that perhaps a more detailed introduction to our children would be good for those of you who don't know them very well. Let me start by saying that each one of our children firmly believes that they were meant to be an only child. Ask any of them that can talk and they have a plan for how we can sell the other kids so that they will be the only one. And then we could use that money for Disneyland. The first time I remember hearing one of them say we could get rid of some of the others was Hailey before Jonathan was born. Her exact words were “We don’t need Adam anymore, Mommy.” Me: “What will we do with him?” Hailey: “We can give him to someone else who needs a boy.” Me: “But won’t we miss him?” Hailey: (with an obvious air of exasperation) “Well we can call him, Mommy – we’ll get the people’s phone number.” Yeah, she was 4 and she had the whole thing planned out. She had obviously spent some time thinking about it. I think that someday they will appreciate having brothers and sisters. I hope so anyway…

Anna Marie Joyner is 8 years old and is very smart. She just finished reading the Harry Potter series - all 7 books all by herself - and she has already jumped into another book. She usually has two or three going at a time, and she also writes wonderful stories. She is also pretty quick witted. We went to the mall the other day and I was looking for a shirt for myself. I asked her which colors I should try on, and she listed some. Me: "Not this yellow one?" Anna: "Mm, no." Me: (trying to be funny) "You know Anna, some people say I look good in yellow." Anna: "Well, I'm not one of those people am I?" Oh yeah, she is definetly my daughter. She also has a very goofy sense of humor that she gets from her dad.

Hailey Elizabeth Ila Joyner is very logical as you can see from the conversation about getting rid of Adam. She is also very blunt. Jon always says she is a 90 year-old woman in the body of a five year-old. She makes me laugh with the things that come out of her mouth that you don't expect. We were driving one day and I had forgotten something, which I voiced with something like "Dang it, I forgot..." and from the middle seat I hear her say "Oh, snap!" Hailey is her own special brand of child.

Adam Crandon Joyner is crazy. That is really the only word you can use to describe him. He is three years-old and he looks nothing like the girls, but he looks just like a King (my side of the family.) However, his personality and sense of humor is all Joyner. Do I really need to say anymore about that? He also thinks he is hilarious and just the most important thing in the world (and yes, that comes from his dad as well.) Adam is going to be the bane of my existence, because he knows which buttons to push to make me laugh. There are so many times when I am trying to discipline him and he will just pull one of his stunts and I can't help but laugh. It is a challenge I am trying to overcome.

Jonathan Neil Joyner is the baby of the family, but he is huge. He is just over a year old but he is the size of an 18-month-old. Not a big surprise when you consider the fact that he was just about 11 pounds when he was born. Yeah. He is the darkest child we have, but actually looks a lot like Adam despite their obvious tone differences. He drags his fuzzy blanket around with him all the time, and as long as it is stuffed in his mouth he is happy. We had to get extras because they have to be washed all the time or they start to smell. Jonathan gets into more trouble than any of the other kids ever did, and he keeps me on my toes. He will eat and eat and eat -I have honestly only seen him refuse food maybe twice. I have to cut him off because he will eat until he is sick. But he isn't a fat baby, since he is so tall - he is just solid. He is going to be the kid that everyone thinks is mentally slow because he will always look so much older than he is, and I am going to have to constantly be saying, "Oh, no, he's only ... years old."

So those are our children. They are each their own kind of special, in good ways and bad. But aren't we all?